


The So-Far Saga of the Immaterial Plane OR Tales from Blaseball

by The_Dice



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Epic Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 09:15:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26969602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Dice/pseuds/The_Dice
Summary: The idea of this fic-in-verse was to tell a story of Blaseball but ignoring most popular fan-lore. The only sources used were Blaseball dot Com, SIBRs Reblase for reference and the Blaseball Beat.Using the Beat meant some interpretations of teams line up in part with popular conceptions but with an attempt to shift in a different directions (The Garages are the main ones who come to mind here).This attempts to maintain the spirit of Blaseball as an absurd sports horror game.Many of the teams are portrayed as monstrous (the Pies as zombies risen from people baked into Pies and the Tigers as literal demons come to mind) - none of that is intended as a slight on fans.In the same vein interpretations of events like the Wyatt Massoning and feedback perhaps skew more horror based than a lot of the interpretations we've seen; this isn't attempting to argue any of those interpretations are wrong, it's merely exploring a different avenue.We are all love Blaseball.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	The So-Far Saga of the Immaterial Plane OR Tales from Blaseball

-Season 1- The Return

The immaterial plane shivers,  
twenty teams here  
gathered from a continent and  
deep below.

The postseason final is set  
The Philly Pies -  
corpses baked in pastry, risen –  
their opponents

The Chicago Firefighters,  
Fists of fire type,  
street based battlers ready to brawl,  
but they fall short.

The votes are cast, they choose poorly -  
Forbidden Book –  
oh forbidden for a reason.  
Eclipses fall.

The Hellmouth opens and swallows  
a desert whole.  
An umpire's eye fill with fire  
Ace Jaylen burns.

-Season 2– Fire

The filled with filling zombie fiends  
march to glory  
again. Minus Cedric, the sour  
pie made of flesh.

A real human walks with them  
now, a farmhand  
named Jess. Upon her bat she wraps  
six whole Nokias.

They face down the Charleston team  
who shoulda been  
River Dogs. Artists stole the kicks  
to be the team instead.

The Pies triumphed over the kick nick crew.  
Votes were tallied,  
millennials souls are ripped, then put  
in bodies new.

The Breath Mint viner Trololol  
watched his arm crack  
and twist, so a cannon emerged  
to help him pitch.

The Lovers ensnared demonic  
friends to strengthen  
their resolve. The plane is rife with  
fire to behold.

-Season 3– Pits of Hell

Young Telephone journeys below  
to Hades lair  
she battles King of Hell Landry  
then settles there

The Tigers - not quiet human  
but not shade too -  
Night's Children, Fate's Eye and Fist -  
surface smashers.

Victory in Cerberus's Jaw  
but Landry learns  
there're some things hotter than hell  
and so he burns.

In the stands a Turnip rises  
a bite this morn  
she did notice. Hell eaten veg  
to Hell must go.

But while the Tigers celebrate  
consequences  
rise up. A grand slam ripped through time.  
The mic crackles.

Infinity will/has claim/ed LA  
All Wyatt Mason  
Then feedback makes my ears bleed green  
No Wyatt Mason

The Tacos are Unlimited  
No Tacos left  
Somehow, some when, fragments gather -  
A team of all.

-Season 4– Feedback

Waves of feedback wash away pain.  
Paula Mason -  
A Pankration Pyromancer -  
falls off the bridge.  
She walks out with a pair of tongs -  
Dallas belongs -  
Did she change or did the world? When?  
Who has been next?

Farmhand Jess, Now the Knight of Night -  
the past claims her  
She wakes in Philly, her trip  
just deja vu.

The Tigers beat the Millenials  
is this echo?  
No just another step towards  
rising above.

Then Alternates take the field.  
Were my friends eyes  
always green? No, but they play on.  
As if they'd stop.

-Season 5– Fire Fights Back

The Windy City Warriors  
have a loss to  
revenge. Their fires will blaze in spite  
of the hardship.

A waves washes over them - reverb -  
but fire burns on.  
Though Trololol must leave the mound.  
Fire the Cannon.

A tough rail worker named Declan  
famed for his blow -  
which shatters Bean in single strike -  
almost did choke.

A peanut sent him into shock  
but could not block  
his mighty bat to score a run  
winners, Chicago.

The elections blessed a once  
low crusty crew.  
Long ago, deep below the sea,  
lived the fourteen.

These old deep dwelling warriors,  
were slain by gods,  
bitter, their souls would find new homes  
in humble crabs.

These crabs would find the Balty team  
\- let spirits flow -  
so shells of armour shield their crew -  
the deep shall rise.

This was the start of crafty Crabs  
but strong they were  
not yet. Until blessing did rain  
upon their shell.

The spirits chase them, do not fear.  
A crab once crushed  
by mighty Hercules and put  
in Juno's sky.

This crab falls to earth, to spark them.  
Then Trololol  
returns to the pitch, but for Crabs.  
He takes a Crab.

This Crab, Watson's old one, cradles  
his body, holds  
his power and welcomes him  
to the fourteen.

Reverberations must be held  
in check, filtered,  
we try our best but blood flows far  
Morals must die.

No good or evil to be seen  
Instead fury  
Instead passion, serenity  
Wild, Mild, play ball.

-Season 6– Rise

Eclipse Sun, Blood Moon, Cancer Rise.  
Crabs set records.  
Their final foes this play-off end game  
are Seattle sent.

The Garages, rock-n-rollers who  
spend their time in  
dusty depots, concocting dark  
experiments.  
The Crabs win the day. Final point  
scored by a wise  
and wily fox who had once played  
a grandest trick.

They met some gods on lonely hill  
convinced them to  
part with fire, the fox would share it  
with humankind.

Now Garages would play their trick,  
with eye locked to  
immaterial pitch, sent Townsend  
to dark they did.

Seattle's sleepless son would lights sparks.  
Fire catches dark.  
And lonely ace steps into light.  
So Jaylen lives.

-Season 7– Instability

Now Hotdogfingers takes the field  
and he lets loose  
he strikes twp Tigers one by one.  
Then they crackle.

Cookbook, a hellspawned emotion,  
City Scorpler,  
late on rent so got dragged to Hell.  
Now. Unstable.

They crackle and they shift. They burst.  
When I see them  
It's just like the flame to a moth.  
Ash is coming.

Cookbook. Scorpler. Bates. They Burn.  
Did Jaylen knows?  
Did this ghoul suffer in the shade?  
Yes. So should they.

Play continues and the Mild Wings,  
underestimated,  
and supernaturally chill,  
they hold steady.

The City of Palaces’ flock  
follow doves  
to the playoff finals, a first time.  
First Wings. True Wings.

Wheeler, mechanic, lightning struck,  
truck besouled now.  
Lost to Umps flames, the first clipped Wing.  
So they grow Wild.

Case Sports, the teams legal counsel,  
must join the field.  
Horne, a wild willed Luchadora  
seals victory.

Monitor followed the ace back  
from the cold trench,  
leaving the hall open for fans.  
We should fear it.

-Season 8– Cusp

Star batter Nagomi, journeyed  
from Underground,  
a cyclops, now wears a Red Cap,  
in her shell cage.

Trololol, too, a star contained.  
Birds circle yet  
no freedom for double shelled Crabs.  
Still they fight on.

So those Tigers from Tartarus,  
night's cold devils,  
tried to claw their way through the dirt,  
Crabs block the path.

Forrest Best, tree surgeon powered  
by Sarn Badrig  
a queer woman, sea guardian,  
Tiger Tamer.

Three teams stand on ascension's edge.  
The still fresh Pies.  
The hungry Tigers and new crowned  
King Crabs. All thirst.

-Season 9– Shell on Earth

Oh but here comes a mighty storm.  
Weather will freak.  
The Shelled One's missiles strike a  
infinite split.

Monitor feeds on foe's shelled stooge.  
PolkaDot's jail  
broken free. Designers of clothes,  
now back to bat.

Somethings changed in three-teamed Dot.  
Fear in her eyes,  
Puddles follows her every step.  
She gasps for air.

The Pies go cold, The Tigers tamed.  
Can King Crab claim  
the magic win, ascend the sport?  
Thieves block the lift.

On first play-off game things started well  
the Crabs caged child  
of night breaks free from her husk cell  
in hour of need.

Yet though they feel ascensions hands  
they do not seal.  
They fall in battle to sneaky  
Sneaker stealers.

Stu Trololol, no relation,  
actor instead,  
preparing for role of Axel,  
with true method.

In too deep Stu proves they're worthy  
when they hit a  
a three run home. Ascension waits.  
But at what cost?

Shelled One's pods which trap prisoners  
begin to close  
in round brave batters, stealing strength,  
then pitchers too.

A monstrous new fourteen arrive,  
goober peas steal  
their life, create Legume Hydra  
to battle Thieves.

Thieves sent packing, a sad parade,  
in blood rain night.  
While we wonder who could defeat  
these cruel pods?

And so we wait. And so we wait.  
And so we wait.  
And so we wait. And so we wait.  
And so we. Wait.


End file.
